All the single ladies…
If that’s you, embrace it. Easier said than done, right?
Waiting for Mr. Right may be why your confidence struggles. Wondering why he hasn’t come or why you’re not marriage material is bound to take a toll on a woman’s self-confidence. You’re not alone; take it easy on yourself. Don’t constantly ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Women do that all too often.
Pastor Craig Groeschel from Lifechurch.tv calls this waiting a ‘winter season’ in his most recent series, Love Song (click to watch): “God may have you in winter when He’s preparing you for spring. Don’t neglect God’s work during winter.”
Plenty of women are in the same boat, but it can be a great ride – it may be cold and lonely at times, but stay confident in your preparation.
Just like a real winter, it’s cold, but it’s also a season some of our greatest memories are from: Christmas time with family and friends, playing in the snow, sitting by the fire, and all the other memories that bring warm, fuzzy feelings.
Your figurative ‘winter’ season can be full of great things, too; like having one less distraction from your relationship with the Lord, extra time with the girls, and so on.
Let’s be real.
All women have most likely experienced a winter season. But most ladies compare someone else’s spring to their winter. Women you see in their spring once experienced a winter, if not multiple.
Christy Brown, a pastor’s wife and mother of three, says, “Don't compare your life to others. Our society wants to tell young women that by the time they leave college they should have a mate. That simply isn't true. Being true to yourself and loving who you are without a man is perfectly ok. Let love happen... don't force it.”
Christy’s greatest struggle was trying to make a relationship work that wasn't meant to be. “I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be in a relationship so bad that I found myself in a very unhealthy place. Praying and waiting for the right guy is worth it. It's not easy but neither is marriage. Settling is just setting yourself up for lots of heartache.”
Callie Christian, also a pastor’s wife and mother of four, struggled with the same, extremely common struggles many women face: insecurities and compromised standards. “I struggled with insecurities and the desire to feel loved because of the lack of love that was shown to me by my father. I searched for that in different guys and of course always felt empty and defeated when they didn't meet my expectations. I felt inadequate, so that made me compromise my standards in order to feel valued.
If you are single and waiting, Callie says, “Now is the most important and opportune time to make the Lord your one and only.”
"The struggle to feel loved and accepted as women, especially if you didn't have a father who taught you your worth in Christ, doesn't go away when you find Mr. Right and get married. It actually can put a huge strain on your marriage. It took me years to figure that out… that my husband, although amazing, does not complete me. Your husband is the icing on the cake to an abundant life that Christ is living through you. If you don't get a grasp on that now, when you’re single, you will just be pulling Mr. Right into a battle he can't win. So, seek God with all your heart, let Him romance you and fulfill your every need and the search for Mr. Right won't be so lonely - it may actually be fun!”
Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that Mr. Right hasn’t appeared yet. Embrace your winter.